Post Breakup Struggle Tip #3: Transform Your Emotional Energy

If you're crazy, hurt, sad, frustrated, and/or confused after a breakup, then odds are you have A LOT of emotional energy. Not physical. Emotional. All kinds of stuff is thundering around inside, and it's probably excreting in the form of depression, garrulousness, over-eating, rebounding...

STOP WHAT YOU'RE DOING.

You're a human being, and, as such, you're capable of taking control of your thoughts, actions, and energy flow. Breakups are awesome in that they can supply you with a lot of emotional energy, which, when combined with a vision and focus, can result in major, positive life changes and progress. The last (and I hope it's the last) time I found myself in the immediate post-breakup zone, I saved hundreds of dollars, traveled to three different states, visited family, shadowed at two PHC's (pregnancy help centers), attended a huge business conference, made new friends, read new books, and started/restarted a few projects.

How did I do it, and all in less than three months? I transformed my negative emotional energy into positive emotional energy. What are some of your projects? What can you start or get involved in? What are your dreams and goals? Who can you meet/help/share with? Where can you go? Start imagining and planning. "Write it down, make it happen!"

In short: Realize your potential. Something that you'll come to see is, that, perhaps, your ex-girlfriend or boyfriend wasn't meant to join you in your greatness, although they may have given you a push toward it. You'll begin to see, too, that God is leading you in a certain direction, and them in another. 

Transform your energy. Take this advice, and you'll start to feel more like yourself than ever.

Post Breakup Struggle Tip #2: Don't Over-Examine the Details

After talking to a few good people and getting a handle on the situation, you have to commit to not over examining the details. Don't think about your relationship, don't think about your ex. Remembering detailed scenes and conversations will only intensify your sense of loss and increase any negative feelings you might be dealing with. Don't look at old messages or pictures. If you are sure--without a false hope--that the relationship is over, delete/hide/destroy (whatever the case may be) everything. Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Pinterest, phone number, email, everything.

Why?

To teach yourself to let go and eliminate an attachment that has now become unhealthy. It won't take long for you to feel glad that you took this bit of advice.

Delete friends and avoid certain social scenes and circles, if you have to. You want to be even-tempered and focused on having a good future--not one spattered by the wreckage of a relationship that, actually, no longer exists. The details have lost their worth. Besides, forgetting makes it easier to forgive.

10 Tips for the Post-Breakup Struggle: Preface

Too much sunlight!!! But...I still like this picture.

I cannot say that I am the best at avoiding relationships that quickly go south. Each time I have agreed to date someone, it was always done with sincerity and with an end-goal in mind. Most of us are like that. We're careful, methodical. We hope and pray. A lot.

But it happens: We experience a breakup at some point and realize the crap has hit the fan.

While I may not be able to talk about what it's like to get it right when choosing to date someone, I feel reluctantly qualified in the post-breakup department.

So, read my next 10 posts, if you know the struggle (I'd like to meet someone over the age of 17 who doesn't). The following tips can be followed in order or simultaneously. They really work, I've got to say; it's proven every time one of my friends say to me, "You really do seem so much happier!" 

Here's a list of what you have to look forward to.

10 Tips for the Post-Breakup Struggle:

1. Talk enough to the right people.
2. Do not over examine the details.
3. Transform your emotional energy.
4. You are not a victim!
5. Take what was good and leave the rest.
6. Disown emotionally perturbed thoughts and own your reality.
7. Recite repetitive prayers spontaneously.
8. Jesus is too present in your life for you not to be okay.
9. Jesus, I trust in You!
10. It's a process.