This is the part where you start to realize it--although I hadn't thought of it this way until one of my sane, close friends came out and told me so!
You are NOT a victim. It doesn't matter what happened. Don't think of yourself in that way. You're already making a come-back, you're already making plans, you're already improving yourself and positively impacting the people around you. You are a dynamic human being.
There are no impossibilities; only challenges! Why settle for victimhood when you can be victorious?
Feedback: Have a victory story? Feel free to share it in the comments!
If you're crazy, hurt, sad, frustrated, and/or confused after a breakup, then odds are you have A LOT of emotional energy. Not physical. Emotional. All kinds of stuff is thundering around inside, and it's probably excreting in the form of depression, garrulousness, over-eating, rebounding...
STOP WHAT YOU'RE DOING.
You're a human being, and, as such, you're capable of taking control of your thoughts, actions, and energy flow. Breakups are awesome in that they can supply you with a lot of emotional energy, which, when combined with a vision and focus, can result in major, positive life changes and progress. The last (and I hope it's the last) time I found myself in the immediate post-breakup zone, I saved hundreds of dollars, traveled to three different states, visited family, shadowed at two PHC's (pregnancy help centers), attended a huge business conference, made new friends, read new books, and started/restarted a few projects.
How did I do it, and all in less than three months? I transformed my negative emotional energy into positive emotional energy. What are some of your projects? What can you start or get involved in? What are your dreams and goals? Who can you meet/help/share with? Where can you go? Start imagining and planning. "Write it down, make it happen!"
In short: Realize your potential. Something that you'll come to see is, that, perhaps, your ex-girlfriend or boyfriend wasn't meant to join you in your greatness, although they may have given you a push toward it. You'll begin to see, too, that God is leading you in a certain direction, and them in another.
Transform your energy. Take this advice, and you'll start to feel more like yourself than ever.
After talking to a few good people and getting a handle on the situation, you have to commit to not over examining the details. Don't think about your relationship, don't think about your ex. Remembering detailed scenes and conversations will only intensify your sense of loss and increase any negative feelings you might be dealing with. Don't look at old messages or pictures. If you are sure--without a false hope--that the relationship is over, delete/hide/destroy (whatever the case may be) everything. Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Pinterest, phone number, email, everything.
Why?
To teach yourself to let go and eliminate an attachment that has now become unhealthy. It won't take long for you to feel glad that you took this bit of advice.
Delete friends and avoid certain social scenes and circles, if you have to. You want to be even-tempered and focused on having a good future--not one spattered by the wreckage of a relationship that, actually, no longer exists. The details have lost their worth. Besides, forgetting makes it easier to forgive.
