Q4:"What's the best lesson you've experienced so far?"

December 17, 2014 marked my first anniversary as an entrepreneur and college drop-out. I invited friends to ask me about my journey. Here is the fourth of the series of questions and my response:

Q4:"What's the best lesson you've experienced so far?"

The biggest lesson I've learned so far: DON'T QUIT. The world is full of quitters; I chose not to be one of them. People quit good things all the time. They quit when it gets hard or confusing or when they forget why they started something in the first place. Quit being a quitter! And quit being around quitters! Stick with the things that move you forward in life, and get rid of the things that don't.

(Image found here.)

I had a mastermind session with my friends a few weeks ago. We went around the room and said one thing about ourselves that we wanted to believe in. "I'm worth more", "I'm genuine", "I'm a force to be reckoned with." When it was my turn, I said, "I'm a winner." It felt so crazy and so right to say it at the same time. What was even cooler is that my friends said that they believed that about me, too, and told me why they thought so. 

(Me with some of the winners I surround myself with, September 2014)

And now I tell it to myself all the time: I'm a winner, I'm a winner, I'm a winner. In times of doubt, I tell myself I'm a winner and I stop doubting. In times of confidence, I tell myself I'm a winner and I suddenly find more ways to win, or I get closer to winning at what I'm doing in that moment.

"I'm a winner." It's an affirmation. It's something you have to believe and tell yourself everyday, because "what you say is what you get." You words affect your thoughts, and your thoughts affect your actions, and your actions affect your belief, which repeats the cycle of success--or failure. I don't let things get in my way. "I don't have any hangups!" (Dexter Yager)

(Dexter Yager exercising, not long after he suffered a stroke, because he's a winner.)

As I wrote before, I was faced with challenge after challenge when I was trying to go to England, but I won in the end and I went to England in spite of everything. Whenever I face a challenge when I'm working, I find a way to deal with it and accomplish what I set out to do. When plans change, I don't fall apart: I reset my goal and go after it with a new game plan. Whenever I have issues with other people, I keep my attitude up and keep moving forward, because that's what winners do. When I decided at the last minute to do a month-long trip this year, I found and accepted ways to make it happen, despite all the crazy things that happened in the process. When I set an income goal, I reach it. When I set a sales goal, I reach it. When I'm scared to set a goal, I set it. And when I'm scared I won't reach a goal, I review it, review my plan, adjust my plan if necessary, and keep going after the goal. It's a funny mixture of looking ahead and going with the flow.

(Me, posing with a winner during my whirlwind, last-minute, totally worth it trip in September-October 2014)

Learn to ask yourself this question whenever something, good or bad, happens: "What does this experience make possible?" (Michael Hyatt)

(Michael Hyatt was one of the winners I started listening to via podcast when I decided I wanted to be a winner, too.)

But..I can't--!

Honestly, I'm not perfect at it. But I've found a way to eliminate my tendency to make excuses: I'm a winner because I've learned how to redirect my energy. Instead of spending my energy on being sad, anxious, stressed, or anything else negative, I take that same energy as soon as I feel negative feelings coming on and use it on something else: contacting people, making sales, scheduling appointments,  finding new clients, following up with clients, digging deeper into my mind to solve a problem, imagining how I can make things different and imagining what things will be like when they ARE different. I learned how to do this through (1) trusting in God and (2) believing I was made for more.

(This is God meeting you on your entrepreneurial journey and telling you to chill out and trust in Him. Image found here.)

Also, work with what you've got. I you live at home, work with it. If you're married and have kids, work with it. If you're broke, work with it. I don't mean perpetuate or eliminate it; I mean improve it.

(Me, excited about the conference I was attending, which happened to be full of winners, October 2014)

And don't forget to say:
I'm a challenge-crusher.
I'm a problem-solver.
I'm motivated.
I'm focused.
I was made for more.
I'm a WINNER.

Practical tips:

• Find or create a mastermind group (I'll write about what a mastermind group does in a later post).
• Read and listen to personal development products, because you're not going to adopt a winner's mentality by accident.
• Surround yourself with winners, because they'll build you up and impact your mind in powerful ways.
• Focus on your WHY--your dream, your purpose.
• Affirm yourself everyday with affirmations like "I'm a winner!"

Q3:"What did you say to inquiries about job security...?"

December 17, 2014 marked my first anniversary as an entrepreneur and college drop-out. I invited friends to ask me about my journey. Here is the third of the series of questions and my response:

Q3:"What did you say to inquiries about job security, retirement, health insurance, etc. that everyone claims to be the biggest reason why they wouldn't go on the same quest and even discourage you from continuing to do so?"

People bring up those things because they're afraid of failure. Bottom line. I'm working to be too wealthy to care about job security, retirement, health insurance and all that jazz. Get out there and make it happen! Failure is just part of the process. Dexter Yager says that success is a journey, not a destination. Understand that failure is crucial to your success.

(Me having lunch at one of my favorite cafes and listening to Jim Rohn tell me that it's okay to fail as long as you don't let it get in the way of your success.)

B-b-but...what if...?!

No. Stop your worry-wheels right there and remind yourself of your dreams and ask yourself if they're worth it. If they're not, then you need to get yourself some bigger dreams!

(Observe this awesome pic-quote I just created with the help of my mentor Michelle and picmonkey.com!)

Also, the biggest risk a person can take is to take no risks at all!
The job security myth is something you'll start to see through whether you become an entrepreneur or not. I myself was never able to hold down any of my traditional jobs, and yet I've been able to happily and energetically devote myself to my multi-preneur career longer than I've been able to concentrate on anything else in a long time (And no, it wasn't because I have ADD or something, it's because I knew I wasn't meant to be at those jobs, working for someone who wasn't ME). There are tons of people much older than myself who've devoted themselves to jobs which they are now losing, and tons of people who can't retire because they are broke and in debt! So much for that. Take 100% responsibility for your life and give yourself the chance to make more money than you know what to do with.

(Dexter and Birdie Yager with more money than you know what to do with.)

Practical tips:

• Work on your list of dreams.
• Don't listen to negative people or the negative voice in your own head.
• Listen to leaders who've achieved what you want to achieve.
• Take risks!

Q2:"What was the biggest, most difficult challenge..."

December 17, 2014 marked my first anniversary as an entrepreneur and college drop-out. I invited friends to ask me about my journey. Here is the second of the series of questions and my response:

Q2: "What was the biggest, most difficult challenge you had to overcome within the year? How did you address the challenge and what was your mental attitude like before and after said challenge?"

One of the most difficult challenges I had was convincing people that I wasn't crazy. This blog post, in fact, is a sign of my victory. 12 months ago, I was afraid of people asking me, "So, what are you up to these days?" My, how the tables have turned! I was actually doing a mock-interview with a friend yesterday. He asked me whether I thought the minimum wage increase that will be implemented in Guam in January 2015 was good or bad, and I said that I couldn't really answer that question because I'm always telling people to stop working for the minimum wage and start working for what they're worth. He tried pinning me down with some other pointed questions, but it wasn't possible because of my "If you want more, get more" attitude.

(Me and my talented friend Amber Word hanging out at a networking event.)

When I finally made the decision to leave school in spring 2013, after facing the fact that I'd been hiding from my desire to leave school for a very long time, I had an extensive sit-down talk with one of my teachers. He did his best to convince me not to leave. If you think about it, I spoke with him at a very critical time. The semester was still going on, and it had been the best semester I'd ever experienced. Productive, drama-less, and educationally stimulating. In spite of all that goodness, I sat across from him for two hours and, in spite of his good intentions (which I really appreciated), I stuck to my guns, and said, "Don't worry. I'll check you in six months." 

(Me and the Brandi Hawthorne Co. brainstorming at Startup Weekend, November 2014)

I had come to see that the same time, money and energy I was using to get good grades in class could all be put toward achieving my dreams. Either I could start building my businesses right away and feel right about myself, or I could keep wasting time while I went crazy on the inside.

(Me and my fellow winners meeting one of our business role-models, Jeff Yager, at a conference in Michigan, October 2014.)

I've had several encounters with other people I respect, and it was honestly very hard to think of what to say to them. The "most people aren't even able to use their majors anyway" answer didn't work with everybody, and I began to realize that wasn't really one of my reasons for leaving school. I used to feel a little lost for words when someone would say, "But having a degree helps; even if you don't use your major, you can still get a good job." I don't know how long it took, but after a while, what I felt inside of me finally found it's way out of my mouth one day: "But I don't want to have a job."

(Me and 10,000 other people who don't want jobs, either, at a conference in Michigan, November 2014.)

Crazy, right? But that was the truth, and I've stuck to it.

Practical tips:

• Be honest with yourself and stick to your values. The rest will follow.
• Know what your time is worth and spend it on the things that align with your goals and dreams (don't waste time trying to please others when it comes to how you make your living).
• Allow yourself to begin to know what you want your life to be like, and use your time, money and energy to get there.

Q1:"How did you get started?"

December 17, 2014 marked my first anniversary as an entrepreneur and college drop-out. I invited friends to ask me about my journey. Here is the first of the series of questions and my response:

Q1:"How did you get started?"

Technically, I've been on the entrepreneurial path my whole life. I didn't know that, however, until I finally faced the fact that I had to choose between continuing to go to college and dropping out to concentrate on my entrepreneurial pursuits. I know a lot of people who put most of what life has to offer on hold because they want to concentrate on getting good grades in their general education classes (for example). I wasn't one of those people.

(Me being an Anthropology student in Spring 2011)

I started going to the University of Guam in the fall of 2010, and by the time fall 2012 rolled around, I was taking 12 credits, working during the day at the university and at night at a restaurant. I was also the president of a club at school, and we were planning to go to England the following year for a field trip. Long story short, that field trip never happened. I bring it up because the decision to travel to England was a decision I stuck to. It was a long-time personal goal, and I wasn't going to let anything or anyone take it away from me. 

(Me fundraising with the club Fall 2012. You can see quite clearly where my priorities lie.)

I didn't know it then, but my "England or bust" decision was a major turning point for me. With that decision, I began to believe that what felt impossible was actually possible, and, what's more, meant to happen. I also began to believe that it was up to me to make it happen. 

(Me, longing for more in 2013)

Everything that could have gone wrong went wrong, it seemed (i.e. money loss, a car crash, getting fired from a job), for the rest of that semester, but by mid-spring 2013, I was was on track with my savings and doing research on how to find my way through the enormous Heathrow airport in London. It was also around this time, I think, that I started cleaning houses with my sister Michelle. We were cleaning houses from Merizo to Yigo, and it didn't take too long for me to figure out that I could make more money, faster, without the stresses of working a regular job, simply by cleaning other people's houses. Cleaning houses was easy for me, so I thought of some other things I was good at (house-sitting and babysitting) and started to advertise. I ended up house-sitting up until the day before I got on the plane! 

(My car, after a truck crashed into it in August 2012)

At that time, I was totally focused on making sure I had enough money to go to England, so I'm not sure if I had too many other epiphanies as I scrubbed toilet after toilet. Those came later. But it was clear, by the time July 2013 came around, that getting paid for what my work was worth was a lot better than being paid minimum wage, or even the slightly higher wage I was earning as a work-study at UOG. It turned out that I didn't just go to England, I explored a lot of it, and also spent good amounts of time in Ireland, Wales and Denmark for more than a month!

(England, July 2013)

(Ireland, July 2013)

(Wales, July 2013)

(Denmark, August 2013)

Apart from the fact that going to England was a huge goal for me (I literally felt like a failure every time a year passed and I still hadn't gone), I also had to get there for the sake of proving something to myself: I had to prove that I could do it. That I had control. That my goals could become reality. I knew that if I proved that to myself, I'd be opening up my  mental floodgates and embracing my potential!

(Me looking epic at Bodnant Gardens in Wales, July 2013)

THAT is how I got started.

Practical tips:

• List all the different ways in which you can make money.
• Choose what you will do (2-3 different streams of income is best) and advertise yourself! (At that time, I asked people to spread the word and also gave out flyers).
• Open up a savings account JUST for the goal you are saving for and put chunks of money away. Never keep your money on hand, unless you need it for something important (like gas or food). (I opened up a savings account in a bank I hated driving to so I wouldn't be tempted to go to there on a whim).
• When you do spend money, use cash as often as possible. It makes you more aware of your money leaving your wallet.
• Stay calm and focused when it seems like things are falling apart. It's all a part of the process--And it'll make a heck of a good story when it's over!

Albany Rose, 7 Years Later

In her latest Youtube release, Albany Rose really gets into the details of the REAl results of the abortion she was forced into 7 years ago. I must have heard about her for the first time a little over a year ago when I was searching videos on abortion on Youtube. I watched the video she made 2 years ago, in which she described her abortion experience. I watched it, then I watched it again.

There is a lot to reflect on in regards to her post-abortion experience...

This Facebook comment by one of Albany's followers pretty much sums up some of the things I wanted to say:

"Every time I listen to you speak, I forget how young you are. I get so caught up in what you're saying, the maturity, confidence, and honesty you say it with. When I hear everything you've been through and everything you had to fight against, it is just incredible what you've come through in such a short time. So I forget that you are only 2 years older than me. 

I hope I get to meet you one day. I'd love to actually talk in person with you.

I'm so grateful for your videos. I know it isn't easy to come out and be honest with the world about the icky parts in your past. I wish I could be that brave. But, like you said, it is so important for people to hear. You're making such a huge difference in the world!"


Please watch her video. Please share it.

Don't Despair

The Pope Francis Dichotomy

I wrote on Facebook that "someone should write an article called 'The Pope Francis Dichotomy', since many non-Catholics are getting the wrong idea about Church teaching on subjects such as homosexuality. 

For example, one such pro-homosexual-unions, non-Catholic wrote on Facebook: "Love this Pope!!! Beyond impressed, finally a Pope that lives in the REAL world, and not some imagined fantasy world." Because the pope said, "If someone is gay and he searches for the Lord and has good will, who am I to judge? We shouldn't marginalise people for this." 

So, I wrote the article myself. Here it is:

He can't change Church teaching, and he hasn't changed Church teaching, and most of what he says is misconstrued by the media. 

When he speaks lovingly and with understanding about people who have homosexual tendencies, he is, as far as I can tell (because he can be rather confusing, since he does not use the clear language his predecessors used), merely speaking what the Church has always taught about human sexuality and the value of the human being. 

There are several things he says that I cannot decipher (or even bother to), but I don't worry about that, because, on this subject, Church teaching, as always, is clear. 

Remember that.

‪#‎catechismofthecatholicchurch‬ #endtheconfusion #prayforthepope #prayfortheworld #santamariaorapronobis
http://www.catholicnewsagency.com/news/pope-francis-children-have-right-to-a-mother-and-father-56123/

Sainsbury's Insight

When I was in England, I noticed that the government and the people honored the soldiers of WWI A LOT. I assume this is because it was so close to home and they suffered massive losses. England is like Guam in that it is a place still scarred by war.

This video (pasted below), created by Sainsbury's, England's version of Payless supermarkets, is priceless on so many levels. Not only is it a tribute to those who fought in the war, but it shows how Christianity (they were singing Silent Night, which describes Jesus's nativity) was a unifying factor for the men and a comfort in times of death and darkness. The film also reminds one of the purity of the human spirit, which even war cannot destroy. It reminds you that all men are created equal, no man is created evil, and belief in God's gift to us, His only begotten Son--in ways we don't even realize--can put into effect things we could never imagine.

http://www.theblaze.com/stories/2014/11/14/theres-a-reason-this-wwi-themed-2014-christmas-advert-inspired-by-real-events-has-gone-mega-viral/

Brittany Maynard Chose Life

I am glad to see that this poor woman, Brittany Maynard, has chosen to let her life run its course. 

There's no dignity or relief for anyone in suicide. 

In the article, her mom says she would feed and bathe her daughter until the end. I'm sure that would help someone like her mother to deal with her loss better, because she could care for her daughter, rather than having to just let her kill herself. 

Now her family can prepare better for what is to come, and never think the kind of "what if?" people ask when someone chooses to kill themselves.

By the way, exchanging the word "suicide" for "mercy killing" or "euthanasia" does not change what it is, or how it affects other people.

Please keep her and all people in her position (and their families) in your prayers.http://www.ijreview.com/2014/10/194905-the-woman-who-has-chosen-to-end-her-life-on-nov-1-releases-new-video-addressing-her-fears-and-emotions-as-the-date-arrives/

Cardinal Burke, Keeping it Real

And all he did was stick to the truth.
I can't believe how much we complicate things by trying to be ecumenical and "nice." Burke just stuck to the truth, treated the guy like a human being, and had faith that God would do the rest.
"In 1995, after four years of trying to combine sporadic Catholic worship with fulltime homosexual cohabitation, Hess gave up, and melodramatically “boxed up all my crucifixes and Bibles and dropped them off at the office of the bishop of La Crosse, Wisconsin with a letter renouncing the Catholic faith.”

That would be Bishop Raymond “Ivory Tower” Burke. To Hess’ surprise and chagrin, Bishop Burke responded kindly, saying he respected Hess’ decision but would pray for his return. A self-described “gay activist,” Hess was outraged at the bishop’s “arrogance,” and wrote back to accuse him of harassment and instruct him to never write again. But Bishop Burke did write again, one last, kind letter, promising to obey Hess’ dictate, but also promising, “if I should want to reconcile with the Church, he would welcome me back with open arms.”"

https://www.lifesitenews.com/opinion/how-cardinal-burke-welcomed-home-a-gay-activist

Remember : Thoughts on the Movie "Fury"

Spoiler Alert*******************************************************************************************************************

Remember:

If you haven't been reminded in a while why war is ugly, watch Fury.

If you haven't been reminded in a while how much death and destruction war can bring, watch Fury.

If you haven't been reminded in a while of how lucky you are to live in a free country like America, watch Fury.

If you haven't been reminded in a while how lucky we are to be living beyond WW2, watch Fury.

If you haven't been reminded in a while of the kind of fighting and deaths that made it possible for you to read this post on a smartphone in the safety of wherever you are (if you're in Guam, you're not being shot at), watch Fury.

I'm not sure how else I can articulate that you should probably go watch Fury and put your life into perspective, and maybe even start thinking of ways that you can remind other people that world wars are possible and real, and should be avoided AT THE VERY LEAST through our efforts to remember, even if its just by being reminded through a movie like Fury.

Faith: Thoughts on the Movie "Fury"

Spoiler Alert*******************************************************************************************************************

Faith:

At first, I was annoyed by the shocking lack of Christian undercurrent in the film, and I say that because even Hollywood can't deny that most of America, back in 1945, feared God. That fact is usually more or less acknowledged. In "Fury", however, there appeared, at first, to be only one soldier who actively believed in God (specifically, he prayed and quoted the Bible).

His faith was laughed at initially, but as things escalated, you could see in the eyes of the soldiers (great acting, by the way) what kind of comfort and affirmation a single, relatable quote from the Bible provided.

Something I thought was really cool was when Brad Pitt and Shia LaBeouf sort of had a conversation through quoting to each other as LaBeouf's character patched up a hit Pitt's character had taken in the arm. Pitt seemed to be repenting, quoting a verse that essentially listed his faults, from pride to lust. LeBeouf's reminded him through another quote that, even in the midsts of his sins, he had accomplished God's Will (in fighting the Nazis). That's the way I understood it, anyway.

Logan Lerman's character was also very different from the other men fighting from with the tank called "Fury". He had a conscience to keep intact, which he did, I think, in spite of everything. In the end, the fact that he and the Bible-believing soldier were two to of the most respected men in troupe, besides Pitt's character. 

Ideas: Thoughts on the Movie "Fury"

Spoiler Alert*******************************************************************************************************************

Ideas:

There were a few things about the movie "Fury" that really stood out to me. I think they were supposed to stand out, because there were only a few moments in the movie when the characters seemed to stop and make some sort of introspective, revealing remark like this one:

"Ideas are peaceful; history is violent."

Brad Pitt's character said that, and in my head, I was like, "Nooooot really."

This is why: Ideas are not always peaceful. Ideas, in fact, make history. What's more, ideas are what make history violent.

Hitler's troops were mobilized by the ideas he had in his head. Before Hitler ever came to power, he spent time filling his head and the heads of others with ideas. Demonic ideas. World-domination ideas. Self-worshipping ideas. Hitler's idea of how the world should be and how, more importantly, he should be worshipped as the saviour of the Aryan race, resulted in the slaughter of countless millions.

Never, never underestimate an idea.

"Dream Big, Think Big, Live Big"

I grew up listening to Dexter Yager tell my family, through audio cassettes, "You can do it! If the dream is big enough, the facts don't count!"
He isn't just a multi-billionaire, he is a legend who, through his hard work and dedication and belief in ordinary people, helped people like my parents DREAM BIG, THINK BIG and LIVE BIG.
In the last few months, the passion and energy of Dexter carried me through several obstacles and set backs.
Now, I'm in Michigan, at his 50th Amway Anniversary celebration. And last night, I had the unfathomable opportunity, with my Amway family, to meet one of the sons who carries on his legacy...

I sound emotional, right?
That's because I AM!!!!!! WOOOOOOOOOOOO!
I LOVE MY BUSINESS AND MY LIFE.
Deo gratias! Amen!

Dear Colorado

I learned a while ago that there is no magic moment between fertilization and birth that turns a person into a person.

The sad fact (sarcasm) is that you are a person from the moment your father's sperm is united with your mother's egg.

Thus: Personhood.

The Prolife group by that name is only telling you what any embryologist (or any person who knows how to make a baby) can tell you, truthfully: nothing justifies the killing on an innocent and defenseless person, no matter what their stage of development.
Any post-abortive mother can tell you that there was no "choice" for their aborted child.

I could address every point made in the Huffington post article, but with this in mind, there's no need for me to do that.

The following quotes are from Huffington Post, Wikipedia, and National Geographic.

"Personhood, if you've never heard of it before, is the movement to give fertilized eggs all the same rights as people -- two cells would have the same rights as you or your best friend. The group behind this movement, Personhood USA, is based right here in Denver. Every couple of years they try and write their fertilized egg = person ideas into my Constitution. The last couple of times most Coloradans have voted "NO" on these amendments and they've failed. But this year things are different."
http://m.huffpost.com/us/entry/5870476

Why "two cells" = person:
"Human fertilization is the union of a human egg and sperm, usually occurring in the ampulla of the uterine tube. The result of this union is the production of a Zygote, or fertilized egg, initiating prenatal development."

"Such zygotes contain DNA derived from both parents, and this provides all the genetic information necessary to form a new individual."

"An embryo is a multicellular diploid eukaryote in its earliest stage of development, from the time of fertilization until birth, hatching, or germination. In humans, it is called an embryo until about eight weeks after fertilization (i.e. ten weeks after the last menstrual period or LMP), and from then it is instead called a fetus."

"In biological terms, however, prenatal development is a continuum, with no clear defining feature distinguishing an embryo from a fetus. The use of the term "fetus" generally implies that a mammalian embryo has developed to the point of being recognizable as belonging to its own species, and this is usually taken to be the 9th week after fertilization. A fetus is also characterized by the presence of all the major body organs, though they will not yet be fully developed and functional, and may not all be situated in their final anatomical location.'

"...an intricate set of plans created at the moment of conception."
http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=s0WM9oRr07w

This Defies Logic

What do you say to them when they get counseled, are offered free pregnancy and child care assistance, see the ultrasound, hear the strong heartbeat of their own child, and still tell you, 

"I don't think we're going to keep the baby"???

Children shouldn't die because a girl is afraid to tell her parents she's pregnant. Children shouldn't die because a girl is going to college to get a job. Children shouldn't die because they are "unexpected" or "unwanted." 

The price of a life is much greater than the burden of any circumstance, especially in this country, in the life of a privileged, college-age girl, who could have chosen differently for the sake of the life of another.

This defies logic!

Revelations in Venice

I spent time on Venice Beach today.

It was a great day for the beach. Not going to bother describing it to you, because I'm sure you know what it's like to enjoy lamb gyros, poki bowls, and funnel cake on the beach when the sun is warm and the air is cool and the beach is clear and spacious on a Thursday when almosteveryone else is in school or at work.

Right?

This is the joy of being an entrepreneur. 

Venice Beach is hippieville, apparently. I'd like to thank the hippie-surfer-probable-yoga-master-guy that I saw on the beach today for his example. Thanks for emerging from the waves to sit back on your ankles in the sand and shut your eyes in meditation or prayer.

I joked with my friend that, perhaps, he was thanking the gods for an awesome surf. But then I got up and folded my legs beneath me as well. "Thank you for the food, and the beach, and the awesome day," was basically my prayer. "Amen!"

My friend and I also took our Venice visit as an opportunity to dream-build. As we lay back on our towels on the sand, we made plans to do exactly that, except we would do it in France and Greece. We would bring our friends. We would buy things we couldn't presently afford, and eat twice as much food. 

And, now that we know what's down in Venice, we know what to come back for, once we're millionaires. 

Character-Building Day in L.A.

I'm sitting at a cafe on Ventura Blvd in L.A. right now, and I'm realizing that I've reached the top.

Not because I'm sitting at a cafe on Ventura Blvd in L.A., but because I had a character-building day yesterday, and I knew it. 

Situation: The friend with whom I am presently staying, A, was sent an emergency text yesterday from one of her friends. This friend, B, had gotten into a fight with her boyfriend and wanted A to come and get her. B could have come and met us rather than have us come and get her, but A felt that she couldn't trust B to leave the situation on her own: B has a habit of perpetuating her lousy boyfriend situation, and A, in spite of her best efforts, has been unable to change that. 

So, rather than spending my vacation time and A's hours off from work enjoying Venice Beach and the sights of Hollywood, we ended up in L.A. traffic in an Uber car for two hours with a girl who didn't actually need or take full advantage of the help offered by A. In fact, B may have made up with her boyfriend by now.

Character building: Both A and I could have been very disgruntled--We were at first. We were in our beach clothes, the sun had already gone down, and we were sitting in an empty hole-in-the-wall called The Black Sheep in downtown L.A. when A began to apologize and vent about our apparently  fruitless sacrifice for B that day. 

But I stopped her and said, "No. Today was a good day. I think it gave us the chance to realize a few things."

For A, it gave her the chance to evaluate how valuable her own time was and how there are some friendships you simply have to let go of because they no longer give value and, in fact, secrete poison. A said, "You really are the average of the five people you hang out with." A knows now that she doesn't want B to be one of the five people with that kind of influence. "I want to surround myself with positive people," she said. "And you can't help people who don't want to be helped."

That was a lesson for her and a reminder for me. 

Valueless friendships are so easy to hold onto, but they can be deadly to our state of being.

As for me, I managed to spend two hours in a car in an attempt to "help" someone I had never seen before on an day I had hoped to enjoy, without going crazy! At first, I just telling myself to relax, but by the time A and I made it to a dark corner of The Black Sheep (where, by the way, we devoured two of the most delicious hamburgers in the world), I had taken hold of a whole new vantage point. So instead of feeling angry and venting for the rest of the night, A and I were able to change the affect the situation had had on us and realize that we had just experienced an awesome, character-building day.

P.S. And ending up in downtown L.A. after dark turned out to be awesome.

Here are links to some of the delicious places we visited:

http://www.yelp.com/biz/the-black-sheep-los-angeles

http://www.yelp.com/biz/las-perlas-los-angeles

http://www.yelp.com/biz/the-varnish-los-angeles-2?osq=Las+Perlas

Mentor Moment: It's a Struggle!

"It's a struggle!"

Thus spoke a successful woman in the business of real estate, Toni, whom I had the pleasure of spending time with when she agreed to sit down with me and my mastermind group the other day. She dropped a lot of gems as she described her life to us, so this post about her may be the first of many.
She was a mother of two, suddenly single, twenty-odd years ago. She had a job she hated, and a desire to create a better life for herself and her sons.  She was working for the airlines when she faced the reality that she had to do something different; she had to escape the life of an under-paid, over-worked, mistreated employee. So, she jumped ship.

"Don't be afraid to go for a swim and struggle!"
She had to struggle to be independent of her parents. She had to struggle to provide food and education for her sons. She learned that:

"Life motivates you."

and she pointed out that

"When you have a choice, you're complacent."
Sometimes God asks us to struggle by showing us that we have no choice to do otherwise. He asks us to go down paths that we don't necessarily like. Toni said that she herself had hated the path she had to follow! But she had faith and she persevered. She says that when you are ready, and God is ready, a light bulb will go off, and you will know what you have to do. And you will struggle. But you'll know you're in the right struggle. The key, according to Toni, is to remember to

"Always focus on how life can always get better."

And then you'll look back someday, like Toni, and know that you'd struggled for reasons much bigger than you can presently imagine. 

Why Limit Yourself?

Today, I found myself driving through the afternoon traffic with two complete strangers sitting in my car. This sort of situation actually isn't usual for me. What was unusual was the conversation that took place during the short ride we had together.

They were a couple, backpacking (as made clear by their giant backpacks) across the Pacific on their way to Australia. They'd had a long layover in Guam, so they'd stayed the night at a bed n' breakfast I clean for. The couple had needed a ride to the airport, so I had agreed to take them there before I went to work on cleaning the apartment they'd stayed in.

The man was quite talkative and they were both very grateful for the ride. He was from New York, and she was from Berlin. He asked me if I was from Guam, and I said yes. He asked me if I'd grown up here, and I said yes. Then he asked if I had any siblings, and I said, "Yes. I have ten brothers and sisters."

Typically, when someone gets around to asking me that questions, I'll pause for a moment and think of how to tell them how big my family is. No matter how I answer, however, the usual response is drowned in surprise.

And he was surprised.

But very pleased. They both were.

"That is so awesome!" He said. And she said, "It is! It's beautiful."

It was a pleasant surprise to hear that.

I mentioned how people are usually surprised, and how, sometimes, people wonder, "Why have so many?" 

I think the real question to ask is, "Why limit yourself?"

He responded, "That's how people react when I tell them that I want a big family--like six kids. They freak out. But it's like you said--Why limit yourself, if that's what you want?"

I asked them how many siblings they had. He had one, and she had none. She admitted something that I've heard so many people admit before: "I wish I had siblings."

I'm not married or anything. I'm just one kid out of many. But that's kind of the point. By merely existing, I get to be a witness. I am evidence of something "awesome", "beautiful", and definitely surprising.

So here's my question to you young, married people out there: "Why limit yourself?"

Midnight Thought on Economics: Work. Make Money.

 I crouched down on the floor yesterday next to an old woman and cut hair and strings out from the bottom of a Dyson vacuum. Her hair was short--evidence of her recent visitations with chemotherapy. I wanted to object to clearing out the vacuum because it was time-consuming and tedious to clean it out like that, but she insisted.
"You finish high school?" she asked with a thick accent I couldn't place. Before she'd started treatment for cancer, she had been the housekeeper. I'd been hired to clean because she no longer could.
"Yes."
"You go to college?"
"No."
"That's good! Make money."
I was surprised, but I said, "Yeah."
"All my kids finish high school. It's good! They don't go to college. They work. Make money. College too expensive. And then--no job! You know? Millions, millions. Waste! You know?"

I marveled at how I'd just had this conversation with her--Schooling vs. working. It's not one of those conversations that you can have with people without having to help them make an ideological leap. Some people wouldn't understand the wisdom hiding beneath the graying cap of the old lady, cleaning out the bottom of a vacuum. They'd just see an old housekeeper and me, wrestling with a pair of kids' scissors and tangled hair.

I was listening to a podcast today, and on it, the guest said that there are two kinds of education. The first is the kind of education you get with hopes of using it someday, the second kind is education you seek out in order to use it right away. I've been learning the difference between the two for the last nine months because I work. I make money.

You might want to work. Make money. You don't have to leave school like I did--it might be part of God's will for you--But don't hesitate when opportunities arise to learn things that will allow you to start changing your life now, instead of later.

Spiritual Sparks: Thanks, In Advance

In the last two days I've been hit by the same message three different times from three different sources.
I like to listen to podcasts while I work, so while I was plugging away yesterday, I decided to listen to a podcast by Online For Life*. On this particular podcast, the show host interviewed a published author and PhD who had, in his youth, led self-destructive lifestyle which resulted in intense shame, guilt, despair, and the abortion of his first child. Before he went into his story, however, he read from a letter that his mother had written to him when he was a teenager. In it, she told him about how hard she'd prayed for him throughout his tumultuous life, how she'd asked God to help him.

And then she said that it was only when she changed the theme of her prayers that she began to see a change in the life of her son.

Instead of asking God for something, she started praising and thanking Him for blessings that were yet to come.

Interesting concept, right? Not one you hear everyday. Yes, you hear people say to praise the Lord in spite of the hard times, but you rarely hear them articulate the idea that you can praise Him for things that He (in terms of our limited human conceptualization of space and time) hasn't done yet.

It really struck me.

On the same day, I read a couple pages from the diary of St. Faustina*. She wrote to Jesus and about Him all the time in her diary. One day, she wrote: "I see that God never tries us  beyond what we are able to suffer . . . One act of trust at such moments give greater glory to God than whole hours passed in prayer filled with consolations."

In my mind, that corresponded with what I'd heard on the podcast. The mother who wrote that letter to her son had had to make the move from begging to trusting; and so her prayers had become those of thankful praise to God for results she could not yet see, and the results turned out be be very powerful, resulting in her son's conversion.

I decided that that was the way I wanted to pray, but it seemed God really wanted me to stick to that decision, because this morning He reminded me again. I'd randomly retrieved Norman Vincent Peale's Positive Thinking Every Day from my bookshelf. I'd only read bits of it before. I decided to flip to today's bit of advice. I read it: "Whatever yo do, do not make all your prayers into the form of asking God for something. The prayer of thanksgiving is much more powerful."

Not to sound cliched, but I couldn't believe it I had come across the message yet again in so short a period of time. It's a great message to be exposed (and re-exposed) to.

So, I think, if you're feeling stuck right now, go ahead and thank God in advance for the things He's going to do with your life--they might be things you've never thought of. Have confidence in Him because "we know that to them that love God, all things work together unto good..."*

*http://onlineforlife.org/?feed=podcast
*http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Faustina_Kowalska
*Romans 8:28

The 6-Step Art of the Short-Term Goal

I realized I work best under positive pressure, and this is why I try to set meaningful, short-term goals for myself.

Last year, it was Europe. This year, it's making sure I take advantage of some opportunities to train and learn according to my interests in the States for a few weeks. I decided to go on this trip about a month ago, and I am leaving about a month from now, so I haven't had much prep-time. Prep-time is crucial when you are situated on an island in the middle of the Pacific, separated from your destination by thousands of miles and a pricey plane ticket.
As afore-mentioned, however, I am well-versed in the art of the short-term goal. I use an approach, mindset, work ethic and affirmation combination to make things happen. I will try to extract this combo from my subconscious now for your possible benefit.

1. Choose a meaningful, short-term goal (ie. spending a summer month in Europe), decide if it's worth fighting for at this point in time, write it down, and set an estimated date.

2. Come up with a roughly estimated total of what it might cost you (ie. $6,000).

3. Come up with a rough estimate of how much you could make and save between the time you made the decision and the time you want to perform the goal.

4. If you realize that you might not have enough/definitely won't have enough, based on your current income average, try on a Dexter Yager affirmation: 

• "I affect the economic situation that I live in." 
• "I will be there. That's it. Period!" 
• Or you could just constantly tell yourself, "I'm going to (insert goal) and nothing's going to stop me!" 

That last one worked pretty well for me (plus it's a product of my genius). The point is to believe in yourself, your ability to do great things, and the meaningfulness of your short-term goal.

5. Because you now believe that you control your own economic situation, that you will make your goal happen, and that nothing can stop you, you can now get to work with confidence and focus.

6. Open up yourself to opportunities that will help you reach your goal. Stay calm, no matter what. Think clear thoughts. Make good decisions. Count every penny. Work hard. Don't lose focus. Speak affirmations. Have the mindset of someone who has already achieved what you are trying to achieve.

To reach my current goal, I am doing everything I already do, and then some. I made a decision to reach my goal, and money is practically falling into my lap (Fact: I'm working and thinking harder and smarter than ever). I'm counting every penny. I have a rough estimate of what I need.

And I'm watching the clock.

Goals can change in nature in regards to timing and circumstance. I almost hopped on a plane four times this year for four different reasons. But because I was looking for a meaningful goal, the right one finally made it's appearance, and I am now making it happen.

Preparation+Opportunity=Luck*
Now go decide on your goal. It's your masterpiece.

*http://publishpositionprofit.com/