The Art of Conquering Fear

(Me, posing with the piece I submitted to Solace. The exhibit will be up in CAHA in Agana for the entire month of May.)

I've come to notice how big of a role fear plays in our perception of what we can and cannot do or have in life. "I can't do___," someone would say to me in response to a question as to why they don't try something that might help them out in a challenging situation. "Why?" I would ask. And they would respond, "Because I'm scared of___." And then, at that point, I have to ask myself if there's any point to saying anything more.  The admission of fear is an indication of a mental block that person has already created and fortified. 

Fear isn't necessarily a bad thing. It can be, in fact, extremely useful. The other day, for example, I was giving advice to a friend, encouraging him to take on more responsibilities in his workplace. He leaned over after a few minutes and asked, "Do you ever...feel scared?" And I said, "Yes!" Instantaneously, I thought of many of the things I do and have and realized that fear had always stood between me and those things. Identifying that fear, however, is what helped me smash through my mental blocks and achieve what I've done and gain what I have.

Fear points directly at what is holding us back. It indicates your target. Attack it! Break through to a more awesome life, and stop letting fear hold you back! (Easier said than done, but, c'est la vie!). I'm dwelling on this today because I recently faced a real fear--although no one would have realized how big this fear was for me.

I participated in an art show. It could have turned out to be completely absurd. I don't paint or draw or anything like that. But I like to take pictures, and I had a nice picture that I'd taken with my phone. I had an idea involving this picture in my head, and in my head it would have stayed, had I not chosen to act. Within the span of a few days, I decided to exhibit this picture in an art show and print one of my poems over it. I didn't know exactly how I was going to do it, or how it would turn out, or how much it would cost to print, or where I could get a decent frame; but, somehow, through random conversations and fast thinking and driving around the island more than my gas tank would have liked, I managed to produce a printed and framed piece that turned out to look pretty good, even though it wasn't exactly what I'd had in my head at first.

So up the picture went, hanging on its own space at the art show, and though I felt rather proud of myself, there lingered, still, that unmistakable sensation of fear: I felt like a fraud. I was no artist. And I wasn't sure if the content of my picture and my poem would "jive" well enough with the theme of the art show (which was mothers, daughter, and victims of human sex trafficking--Heavy stuff, right?). I wasn't sure if this poem-picture mash-up would work well either. These fears had dogged me from the moment I'd decided to participate in the art show, but I'd seen the fear for what it was and broken through it as I acted on my plans.

The result? Success! I watched at the opening of the art show as people leaned in toward my simple picture and poem, read the words carefully, nodded to themselves as though they'd just received some sort of insight into life and murmured, "I like this one..." Wow. It was so gratifying. So affirming for me. I mentally thanked myself for not listening to the fearful voices in my head that had plagued me previously. There had been so many moments when I almost backed out, so many "reasons"--I was too busy, it was too last-minute, I didn't have anything to contribute. But I didn't let that get in the way, and now, I can look back with satisfaction and know that I had, in a small way, mastered the art of conquering fear. And now, since I acted on one of my creative ideas and experienced success, I feel like a whole new set of opportunities have opened up to me!

What are some situations where you had to conquer your fears? Let me know in the comments!